Monday, August 27, 2007

Being Fifty

I imagine the conversation going like this:

Inquiring Person: "So I heard you turned 50. What did you do to celebrate?"

Me: "I really tied one on. I spent the weekend walking 60 miles to raise money for breast cancer. You?"

Only the conversation won't be imaginary, because that's what I really did. When I first proposed to do this event, I thought myself unique. As it turned out, I met two other women on the walk who planned to do the same thing for their fiftieth, and another woman turning 57 who had the same idea. Imagine that - women who are facing a milestone and choose to honor that achievement by participating in an event that could change lives. Now I know why people use the term "Fifty is Fabulous". Indeed we are.

On my fiftieth birthday, I walked 19.5 miles. That night, I slept on the ground in a two-person tent. The next morning I woke up and thought to myself, "I am now in my fifties," and I smiled. Fifty feels good.

Being 50 gives me a sense of empowerment. I don't feel as pressured to live up to the expectations of others. Two years of counselling have helped me feel more self-confident and focused about who I am and what I want. I still have a lot of thinking and planning to do - but I am on my way.

Being 50 gives me a sense of freedom. My forties were spent rearing teenagers. My youngest turned 21 this year. While I will always worry about my children because I am their mother, I feel a sense of release as I let them experience and develop their adult lives. I can now select my wants and desires to be at the top of my list.

Being 50 gives me a sense of adventure. Without the constraints and responsibilities of my earlier years, I have the time to seek those opportunities to expand and explore my horizons. I have the chance to experience the things that maybe only I want to do.

Being 50 gives me a sense of time. I have the time to relax, the time to think, and the time to do what I want. I value the memories of years past, but also recognize the uncertainty of my future. Time becomes a little more precious, because I realize so much of my time on this earth is gone. But I also realize how much I have to offer in the time I still have.

Being 50 gives me a sense of gratitude. I am thankful because I can see all the blessings I have received, and I am confident of all the blessings I will receive in the future. I am aware of the blessings in the little things and can recognize and cherish them.

I am now 50. What a great way to spend a year!

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